Sock Juice & Simmering Thoughts

I am finding this blog so difficult to keep up! Partly because on my lone day of rest each week, I want to write--I have so much to share! However... I reallllly... enjoy... my day of rest to... REST. To rest my mind, to journal, and also to be present with our expatriot friends. During the week, I have so many fleeting thoughts of what I would like to blog about, so I have started writing in my journal a bit so I don't forget!

Every week I have two nights and one day in a beautiful home with a beautiful family--and every week is different. I have stayed with Gabriel & Christine (from Colombia and Australia, respectively), Gloria & Bob (from the USA), Agnese & Henri (from France), Roxana & Ernesto (Costra Rica), and now, Sabine & Bruno  (from France). They are friends we meet from our daily or weekly attendance at Mass, or from other friends of friends...who are ex-pats living and working here in Bangkok.

Mid-Script-PS--Going to Mass every day is one thing that has struck me as so... interesting. Bangkok is a city of some 12 million people or more. We frequent a few of the few Catholic churches--MEP (French mission priests), Holy Redeemer (a Redemptorist parish--English Mass), Sacred Heart convent (Mass in Thai with the Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus--mostly Thai sisters), St. Louis (at the Catholic hospital, mass in Thai), Sala Daeng (Spanish mass with the Sisters), or... a Thai parish in our neighborhood that I cannot remember the name of. The incredible piece of this? It takes *minimum* 30 minutes to get to mass every day, between taking the rot song teo (a truck with 2 benches in the back), walking a bit, and sometimes another bus. Once school starts on May 18, it can take much longer with traffic. I think to myself," Wow, in Kansas City I lived 1/2 a block from daily mass PLUS worked at the Church, where mass is 50 yards away, and here I am taking 30, 45, or 60 minutes to go to mass? every day???" This is a true commitment and growing in an understanding of why I go daily... and how my life and time passes me by when I don't!
Oh yes, and the last note about mass--Daily mass is at 6:30 AM (close to home), or 7:30 AM at MEP (1 hour away). 

Back to our friends... Some have been all over the world--some are teachers, some work for their own government abroad, some work in agriculture, and one for Habitat for Humanity. It's so interesting spending time in their French home in Thailand, or and American home--in Thailand... And to hear their stories, impressions of the different cultures, to see and hear about raising their kids overseas (called "3rd culture kids"), and, what I really love, sharing our mission of being a presence of Love in the poor areas here. Most of our ex-pat friends have never seen the part of Bangkok in which we live. We continually invite them to visit any afternoon to see our house, and to meet the children and our neighbors. We have some ex-pat friends who have really developed an important friendship with our friends in Klong Toey, which is so beautiful to see the bridge we helped to build between two people who otherwise would never consider the existence of the other.

There are so many cultural norms and mores, not just Thai, but also the cultures I live with in community. Just today, Bruno, Katie, and I were enjoying our supper (French style--meaning, 2 hours long, even with egg-pork-rice and fruit and water) and conversation about coffee. I call myself a bit of a coffee snob (mostly about espresso and how a shot is pulled, and then how the milk is steamed), and was speaking of how I miss my coffee (in my Italian Moka). Bruno was surprised (until I explained my coffee is not the typical light brown drip coffee) and shared that the French call American coffee "Sock Juice"--you know, like you take a dirty sock and shake some water in it and it comes out light brown! I LOVe it...


Two of my sisters of community are French. They understand this concept of a meal as a real part of the day. I, however, am accusotmed to eating breakfast on my way out the door or in my car, lunch maybe also in my car or at my desk, and maybe eating something quick at home or some crackers with peanut butter in my office before youth group (in the Youth Ministry days--or something similar in college). So here, our meals are at LEAST an hour, mostly 90 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the discussion and if anyone has sent us some chocolate recently.
Thuy, my sister of community from Vietnam, has a very different culture from the rest of us. She cooks very well with the random and strange assortment of vegetables here, although she claims she does not like cooking. Stories from her teenage years include living in a tree house and sleeping in a hammock up by the birds, and she took care of many animals--lots of cats, fish, and... alligators. They sold the meat to hotels and such. Josephine, our visiting sister of community on mission in India, burned her hand while cooking, and Thuy said, "Put toothpaste on it". (Reminded me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding!)


There are many more serious experiences I have, and very touching ones. I have encountered beautiful people, and beautiful children. So far, it is hard to share those stories... So much is simmering inside. There are some things I know concretely, which are familiar sentiments--I am getting sick of rice (17 months to go...--although, Bruno just informed me that rice is better than bread for you. Our bodies process the bread into sugar, unlike rice. As the Asian population eats more bread, they are getting bigger. Maybe the US needs to eat more rice?). I miss Ryan. I miss talking to my brothers and sister. I sort of miss my cell phone, but mostly just to text Ryan and receive hilarious long messages from Katie C. or my Mom, or to hear the weather report in Colorado from Dad. I miss my house in Waldo, and morning coffee with Karen. I miss teaching English in Raytown, and going to Beshoy and Gerges' home to visit, learn some Arabic, and drink wonderful Egyptian coffee.I miss my Kiddos at St. Agnes. I miss the youth ministers in KC--C Dub, Mr. Kyle, and Chelsea... oh yea, and Dana! Ha... I miss going to a bar for a beer. I miss wearing a tank top when it's this hot. The clothes I thought were light fabric in the States now feel like heavy, thick, unbreathable fabrics. I am learning that it is possible for your legs to sweat, and to even be completely on fire when laying down for 30 minutes with the fan doing nothing but blow hot air on you, which I can't decide is better than no fan...


Oh, how sharing my experience requires reflection and making a judgement! My judgement can be wrong, yes. But the important piece is to go through the process.I am learning about my sense of "on time", "clean", and "delicious" (very different from the French, Argentinean, or Vietnamese--or Thai, definitions). I am learning how to be present, with kids, with our friends... especially when I have no idea what they are saying. How to serve the children and our friends, and my community, with love. How to be firm while loving with the children.How to communicate, and what to communicate back home. In traffic, how the traffic lights, cops, and drivers all work--make no sense! How to use the phrase "mai pen rai" (no big deal, doesn't matter), and then "You do it this way!". What is reverence at mass--standing, kneeling, sitting.What is superstition--in Buddhism, in Catholicism?


My reality is here in the beautiful contradictory culture of Muang Thai. My reality is my beautiful community, and our friends, the children, the grandmothers, the expatriots. My reality is dirty buses and a city of pollution. My reality is learning to love, and learning to open my heart. My reality is looking at a stranger with a handicap and learning how I am called to love. How do I see this person... as a person. Some may be scared to admit it, but I recognize that when our friend comes dripping sweat,with dirty feet and unkept toenails, and bad teeth, and a physical handicap,as well as in speech... I don't not notice that. The next step however, is to take her hand when she grabs for mine and to smile back as she grins at me!


Fr Hirsch just told me last week something they say to the kiddos on mission trips (he must have skipped it with my group--or I forgot). "You will notice the glass half full. But you will learn from the glass half empty." I look at this woman and I see the glass half empty. But I learn so much! And I find something in me changes.

I find that so far, simmering to the top of all of these is that the easy part was coming. The choice to come here has been easier than to stay for these first 5 weeks. It's not easy to be here in so many ways.
So what makes me stay?
Hmm...
God. His Grace, alone!
...and that I have sponsors--I have no idea what sort of lame excuse I would give for giving up this mission life of my dreams.
Mostly... Because I know that the best is yet to come. These struggles will reap great joys! The small joys now, will become great joys later! The hardship now is WAY less than the hardship that would come by abandoning ship, and the joy in the end later is WAY MORE than the short lived joy of going home.
The fruit of the hard work is virtue... and in the long run, if I stay on track?... Eternal Life with Jesus!