I grew up reading Maryknoll's newsletter/magazines.
I would read the stories, but most often,
I would cut out the faces of the children and families living in poverty,
posting them on my bulletin board.
This is the furthest I can trace my desire to go overseas.
In high school and college, I traveled to Peru for short term mission trips and
I only felt at home. The children I worked with, the beauty of nature,
and of the faces of the people--the old couple who lived in Los Pinos
would offer me their banana (their whole lunch!)
as I walked down the dirt road,
full of pot holes and rocks.
I have tried for the last 3 years
to surrender my desire to be overseas. As a senior in college,
I tried to find the perfect and most logical position overseas.
I looked for ESL positions, mission work,
looked at government as well as non-profit sectors.
There are 2 ways God speaks to us
as His children to tell us what is from Him: peace and joy.
I found neither in my options.
I finally said "Okay, God! I give up.
I trust that you will show me where You want me!"
The day I moved to Kansas City--
all alone, no place to live, no job--just trust in God,
I had an interview and was hired 4 days later!
God placed me into a position at St. Agnes
and fulfilled my heart!
Working at a church on Mission Road,
with a large Hispanic population,
and in a ministry very close to my heart,
I felt from the beginning that God had indeed placed me in a mission!
It was in a conversation with my boyfriend that I was told
I needed to take action upon my desire to go overseas.
I started searching, but set it aside as it was taking away from my ministry.
Then, someone said, "Become the woman of your dreams"
... and I started thinking: I am not the woman of my dreams!
It was Ryan who said,
"I don't think you will be the woman of your dreams until you do your mission work."
Dreams are funny things when searching for God's will.
Sometimes, God asks us to surrender our dreams and turn to Him.
...other times, He confirms our dream, urging us to follow it!
For the first time, I felt peace and joy moving forward with this particular dream.
I know that it is on my heart for a purpose--
some dreams are our own creations,
while others are God-given.
I believe my dream has been written on my soul to be fulfilled and lived.
The next day, I woke up, looked at the photo of the orphanage in Peru,
and called my brother, asking if he would hire me as his nanny.
...uh,
what?
Nanny???
How does that fit in???
Ha--God is funny.
Once I had a response with details, all of the pieces of the puzzle fit together...
I lifted it in prayer for 9 days, plus gave myself a few more days to make sure.
From day one I felt sure--the doors just kept opening.
Replacement for my roommates? Check.
Place to live? Check.
Job to save money? Check.
Time for the application process? Check.
Successor for my job? Check.
Contacts in Madison? Check.
Support from my family/friends? Check.
Peace & Joy... ? CHECK!
This was as close to a 'neon sign' as God could give me!
I don't know where I am going, with whom, or for how long.
I just know I am called to go and my heart couldn't be happier.
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